If You’ve Never Done This Before
Taking the first step toward therapy can feel intimidating.
If you’ve never been to counseling before, you might be wondering:
- What if I don’t know what to say?
- What if they judge me?
- What if they push me too hard?
- What if I get emotional?
These are all normal questions.
The good news is that therapy isn’t about forcing change. It’s about creating the conditions where change can unfold naturally.
Finding the Right Balance
I often compare therapy to training a wild horse.
A skilled horse trainer doesn’t use force to train a horse. He does, however, apply pressure. The horse must gradually be introduced to the very things it fears until it discovers it can experience them without becoming overwhelmed.
If those experiences are introduced too quickly, the horse can become frightened. It may bolt, rear, kick, bite, or simply refuse to engage. Instead of learning, it learns to fear the process itself. The horse becomes less willing to approach the very things that would have helped it grow.
On the other hand, if the horse is never introduced to those “scary” experiences, it never has the opportunity to discover that it can handle them. It remains exactly where it started.
The Trainer’s Job Is to Watch and Wait
The trainer’s job is to find the right balance. He carefully watches the horse and introduces each new challenge only when the horse is ready for the next step. The experience may still be uncomfortable, but it isn’t overwhelming. Little by little, the horse becomes calmer, more confident, and capable of things that once seemed impossible.
People learn in much the same way.
How Much Stress Is the Right Amount?
Whenever we try something new, whether it’s counseling, starting a new job, entering a relationship, or having a difficult conversation, we experience some stress. That’s part of learning.
Our goal isn’t to eliminate stress.
It’s to find the right amount.
Enough challenge for learning to happen.
Not so much that learning stops.
That’s how we approach therapy at Kirutz.
What Your First Session Looks Like
During our first session, we’ll simply begin getting to know one another.
We’ll answer any questions you have, explain how therapy works, review the important parts of informed consent, and learn what brings you in and what you’re hoping to accomplish.
We’ll spend the first several sessions getting to know your story, understanding what’s happening in your life, and identifying the goals that matter most to you.
Sometimes we begin working toward those goals right away. We may explore how emotions are formed, how they naturally resolve, or practice new ways of responding to difficult situations. Every person’s journey is different, so the process unfolds a little differently for everyone.
We Work Out the Pace Together
There isn’t a script.
We work out the pace together.
Throughout our work together, we’ll continue looking for that same balance: challenging enough to encourage growth while making sure you feel understood, respected, and never pushed beyond what you’re ready for.
Therapy is about creating the conditions where growth can unfold naturally.
Finding the Right Therapist
People often ask, “Which type of therapy works best?”
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Hypnosis, EMDR, Solution-Focused Therapy… there seems to be an endless number of therapy models.
At Kirutz, we look at these approaches a little differently.
While each model has its own techniques and language, we believe they are all attempting to help people improve their lives by changing the way they relate to their experiences. Each therapist simply has a different way of guiding that process.
Which Approach Fits You?
Some people naturally connect with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Others find Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Hypnosis, EMDR, or another approach fits them better.
The same is true of therapists.
Two therapists may practice the exact same therapy model, yet one feels like the perfect fit while the other doesn’t.
Finding a Therapist Is a Lot Like Trying On Shoes
Finding the right therapist is a lot like trying on a pair of shoes. You can read about them, hear recommendations, and look at their credentials, but the only way to know if they fit is to put them on and walk around for a while.
Therapy is much the same.
Sometimes you’ll know after the first session that you’ve found the right fit.
Other times it takes a few sessions.
Occasionally you may discover that another therapist or another therapeutic approach fits you better, and that’s okay.
What We’re Trying to Do for You
Our desire isn’t to convince you that one therapy model or one therapist is superior to another.
Our goal is to help you find the therapist, personality, and therapeutic approach that best fits you.
No matter which clinician you work with at Kirutz Therapy, we share one common belief:
People grow best when they feel safe enough to explore, yet challenged enough to learn.
Ready to Begin?
Enough challenge for learning to happen.
Not so much that they become overwhelmed.
That’s the balance we’re continually trying to create.
If you’re ready to begin, we’d be honored to walk alongside you.